Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
The lady wore black and her eyes shone gold,
veiled face and veiled intentions, a smile
in her right hand, a dagger in her left.
Slicing with either in confident stride
like the sea-breeze slices across the morning air
and the ocean of her heart bled,

beckoning with wave after wave of depths untold.
When first I gazed upon lascivious lips, I pined
for the days of old, I dreamed of songbirds.
I spoke in languages forgotten. (or maybe never learned.)
I learned quickly the dark plays tricks on the mind.

She spoke, her voice was a shadow on the night's breeze
carried away on a landslide of eluvium. Her teeth were sharp,
and strangely intoxicating. Her scent, like gentlest whispers,
spoke to me of nurture and reminded me of death.
Her pupils were impossibly large. She smiled,

and I felt my will unfold like petals and fall away like leaves.
She stripped me of my outer bark, it fell away in clods of excuses.
I was adrift in an illusion of confusion. And her final wispy words
still echo in what is left of my ears.

"Hang him from the ceiling fan.
He was only going in circles to begin with."
A huge thank you to the lovely LaColumbededeuil [link] This is a collaboration sorts, she gave me four lines, and told me to run with it. This is what I came up with.

Let me know what ya'll think!

Also, there is voice recording of me reading this poem here. [link]
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-07-12
the consequences of walking in circles by ~MozartsNemesis slowly builds until the beautiful ending lines of dialogue, which make me want to cry for reasons I can't even describe in words, the suggester tells us. ( Suggested by intricately-ordinary and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Student General Artist
Whoa... that is quite creepy, yet it flows impossibly well.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013
Thanks I think? Lol.
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconsavaliste:
Savaliste Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013
YAY! CONGRATZ, A DAILY DEVIATION!!!! :iconbravoplz: :party:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013
thank you so much! I love the clapping guy lol
Reply
:iconkiba-shiruba:
Kiba-Shiruba Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student General Artist
:iconthisdeanplz:*speechless*
Reply
:iconaelorn:
Aelorn Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
My eyes are watering a little. My friends always say I write great poetry, but this is... Masterful. This is up there with the greats. One day, children will be forced to study your poetry in English classes.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013
I don't even know what to say to this except thank you.. this comment just made my day.
Reply
:iconaelorn:
Aelorn Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
No problem! I look forward to my children studying you.
Reply
:iconjezmine-guardia:
Jezmine-Guardia Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student Writer
Very nice.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
thank you!
Reply
:iconxoamethyst-artistox:
XoAmethyst-ArtistoX Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy, this poem was certainly picked as a DD for a reason!
I love how you strung the words together and everything. Amazing poem right here.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
thank you so much. This poem is outside my norm, but it was a lot of fun to write.
Reply
:iconxoamethyst-artistox:
XoAmethyst-ArtistoX Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
:heart: Congrats on the DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
thank you!
Reply
:iconrayckro:
Rayckro Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Congratulation on the Daily Deviation! :D
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thanks! :smile:
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconschneefuechsin:
Schneefuechsin Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Congratulations on the DD! :hug:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thank you!
Reply
:iconrevenciel:
Revenciel Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is STUNNINGLY beautiful...Absolutely STUNNING. Truly awesome.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
aww.. thanks so much!
Reply
:iconhills-to-sky:
Hills-to-Sky Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nice, I love the ending.
And congrats
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thanks! That was probably my favorite part as well.
Reply
:iconhills-to-sky:
Hills-to-Sky Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Anytime
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
:clap:
Reply
:iconconcora:
Concora Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013   Writer
Stunning. Congratulations on the DD! :clap: :heart:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013   Writer
This is an amazing poem. You deserved the DD on this so much - congrats. :heart:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thank you so much! <3
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013   Writer
You're so welcome!
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow.
Wowowowowowowowowowowow.

I had to wait two days after reading this to respond because it just touched me so much I couldn't even formulate words. You need to write like this more. The imagery is astounding and chokes me up in the best possible ways.
It's the most unique mix of love and disaster, creating an aching sense of reality.

Those last two lines are just absolutely perfect. I wish I had more words to describe how much I love them. It makes her real, it makes you human, it makes the whole thing a catastrophe slowly wilting.

And the reading, on top of it all.
Just, wow.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thank you..so much. Your kind words bring a smile to my face. The last two lines have been bouncing around in my head for a few days, and I knew I wanted to use them. Your compliments mean so much..thank you again. :D
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: congrats
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
Thank you..so so much. I..just thank you. I cant really explain what this means to me right now, but.. if there was a time I needed this, it was today. YOu're simply amazing.
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you don't need to thank me for what you earned on your own <3 <3 you're amazing
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad you did. this is magnificent.
Reply
:iconwizillusions:
wizillusions Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Seems that something is wrong with this line, think you need to edit out the first like after fall.
and I felt my will unfold like petals and fall like away like leaves.

Other than that I found this a very interesting piece. :+fav:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Thanks for the comment, the fave, and the editing! I really appreciate it.
Reply
:iconwizillusions:
wizillusions Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem always glad to be of assistance if I can and you did a great job on this one.
Reply
:iconeverlasting90:
Everlasting90 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's certainly interesting. :icondragonidle:
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Thanks I think. Although thats not exactly what I was looking for when I asked for feedback.
Reply
:iconeverlasting90:
Everlasting90 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry :ashamed: . What inspired this poem? It's definitely an arresting piece.
Reply
:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Lol it's all good. A friend of me gave me four lines and challenged me to write a poem from them. So I took them, and just wrote. The last line has been bouncing around in my head for a few days, but other than that it was really just off the cuff.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconmozartsnemesis: More from MozartsNemesis


Featured in Collections

Poetree by incense-whiskers

Inspirational by intricately-ordinary

Writing by IndigoDragon13


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 18, 2013
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,458
Favourites
171 (who?)
Comments
47
×