"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable joy"
Such a joy to read, rhythm is fantastic and so is the rhyme. I would take a few words out so the syllables are the same because I'm an annoying perfectionist haha. This is pure genius though
tears are the wishes our hearts have made that the angels hear and are for joy in the fulfillment thereof or for sadness in the lack of its granting - precious they are - so much so that it says He knows the count of them and captures them up. salt-water reminders of the first time the heavens cried for so long all was covered. then made new and fresh, sweet smelling and blessed. tears are not a sign of weakness in a man to me, they are a sign he is so sure of his manhood he does not deny his humanity. you are amazing Jake.
This is so beautiful. I mean, it took my breath away on my first read through.
I don't often incorporate rhyme schemes into my poems, but it worked perfectly for this. Your imagery is spectacular, especially in that gripping first stanza. "and the tumor of your discontents, (I don't care to excise them by name.) Sarcoma to sarcophagus, they're buried much the same." I love the harsh truth presented in this stanza.
And, even more so, I love the beautiful message that resolved it. It ends so wonderfully, I love the quote you include in your description. You present such a positive and heartwarming idea without sounding the least bit campy or cliched, which is a talent I am entirely jealous of.
I think that's such a lovely state of mind and it's written in such a natural, touching way. I wish I could fave this multiple times.
Thank you so much for such kindness. I find it..striking that you were able to pull the lines from this which I used to center the whole poem around. the last two lines of that stanza have been echoing through my head for days. I'm glad I came across as genuine rather than corny.. I worry about that sometimes, because often as poet.. it is hard to find multiple ways to express the same idea, or capture the same emotion. Again, thank you for the fave, and for commenting so kindly.. it makes it worthwhile to have lived through those tears if their end product can touch even one person.
tears are the wishes our hearts have made that the angels hear and are for joy in the fulfillment thereof or for sadness in the lack of its granting - precious they are - so much so that it says He knows the count of them and captures them up. salt-water reminders of the first time the heavens cried for so long all was covered. then made new and fresh, sweet smelling and blessed. tears are not a sign of weakness in a man to me, they are a sign he is so sure of his manhood he does not deny his humanity. you are amazing Jake.
always,
katti
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I mean, it took my breath away on my first read through.
I don't often incorporate rhyme schemes into my poems, but it worked perfectly for this. Your imagery is spectacular, especially in that gripping first stanza.
"and the tumor of your discontents,
(I don't care to excise them by name.)
Sarcoma to sarcophagus,
they're buried much the same."
I love the harsh truth presented in this stanza.
And, even more so, I love the beautiful message that resolved it. It ends so wonderfully, I love the quote you include in your description. You present such a positive and heartwarming idea without sounding the least bit campy or cliched, which is a talent I am entirely jealous of.
I think that's such a lovely state of mind and it's written in such a natural, touching way.
I wish I could fave this multiple times.